I lived, I died, I live again. I think of myself now as Lisa. I remember thinking of myself as Beth. Not everyone can remember who they were, but it�...s not really important.“But if I can lift your guilt by letting you know that Beth loved you,” Lisa continued, “then that’s important. Lisa is here because of what happened. Beth is not. But I would be here, regardless of who I am. And I love you.” She touched her father’s cheek with a finger, tracing a single tear that escaped from his left eye,. Darling, you’re nothing like so angry as you have every right to be.’ ‘I don’t feel angry at all,’ she rejoined. ‘I love you far too much ever to feel angry with you. Oh, I know what you’re going to say — ‘that’s just the drug’ — and you’re quite right. Of course it is, I’m not stupid. But darling, when that clever girl Fran told you the feeling is still real, even though it’s artificial, she was quite right.’ She paused before adding in mock rebuke, ‘Really, James, I can understand about Fran. I know for a fact that Aaron is gay, but I act so homophobic all the time, so I think he thinks I’m straight. Well the reason I have homophobia is because I don’t want people to find out. Aaron told me that he was gay but I couldn’t find the guts to tell him. I had to keep mine and his secret. He doesn’t want anybody to know except, which I find absolutely romantic. Just to tell you I’m not one of those gay guys who act all girly, Aaron is the same. We are just normal guys but have a taste for. "I don't know how much longer I would have been able to stay alive," she finally told me."I'm glad you are still alive," I told her.Billie snuggled up to my back and asked, "Fred can we have sex?" Will it embarrass Jojo and Ellie?" I asked in return."No, Fred. I want it and they want to see it. I told them how gentle you were. They don't believe it," she explained.So Billie and I had sex, I had missed it for the last couple of days and I was a bit randy. I wasn't very gentle, I bit her breasts.
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