I never felt any real affection or love from her. Now that I think about it, I can't remember her ever saying she loved me. It was not a term used in ...ur relationship. Looking back, there never was a relationship. We just went through the motions. I had been living in an ice castle and never realized it. My head was so far up my ass that I needed a good bitch slap to get it out.She never wanted slow passionate love making. She didn't want fore play. She wanted it hard and raw. The animalistic. He was more gentle than me - which was perfect for our first time as she was more nervous than me. By the end of the night, both guys came, girls made out, everybody fucked and sucked. It was awesome.Afterward, she told me she wanted to watch me “fuck a girl hard” - harder than she can handle (though she does very well). So, we decided to keep an eye out for a ‘unicorn’ even though I was pretty sure it would be hard to find. About 6 months later, we were at a party and started talking to a girl. "You know what I am doing with Rachel," I said. "You know that I am sleeping with her. What kind of date are you talking about? Do you want to involve Rachel?" No," she replied. "I want a regular date. You know, boy, girl, movie, dinner, kiss good night. No Rachel. No mention of Rachel. I know what you are doing with Rachel, and I wouldn't dream of asking you to stop, but I really like you. You are a nice guy, and even though most people would think you were an asshole for doing what you are. I didn’t plan to breakdown and cry but that happens a lot lately, but when you held your arms out I just rushed to you without thinking. My subconscious must have known that I needed reassurance and human contact. I don’t know if it’s because of your size that I immediately felt safe, protected from life’s little nasties.”Again she looked up at me but this time her eyes were smiling, the remaining tears adding a real sparkle. Again my heart raced, this time for rather inappropriate reasons. I.
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