So, back in the city immediately after Christmas, I was even more determined than ever to put in the effort to change my life around and make him prou... of me.Tonight, everyone at the firm, except a skeleton admin crew and myself, were out seeing in New Years. Hey, the whole city was hitting the cocktails. Me? I had a streaming head cold and wasn’t up to socialising. Besides, being from a small town without the right Ivy League connections, I wasn’t even invited to the firm’s party seeing in the. NO! That’s not me. Those thoughts are hateful. I worship him like I know he worships me. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t care about him… I do care… I don’t care… I hate myself. Christ! Am I going mad? Am I going to wake up one day in a straight jacket? It’s the end of the party. David has our coats and he leads me by the arm to the front door, where Simon is waiting, bidding everyone a good night. As we approach, Simon sees me and his eyes light up. We shake hands and mutter pleasantries. "I always wondered, but never asked. I don't know if it was to respect your privacy, or because I somehow knew it would hurt you to tell me, but I was content to have a mother that loved me. You rarely did any of the things that other boys' mothers did to show what they called love, but I knew." I hoped you loved me," my mother said into my shoulder, "But was afraid to ask, for fear of finding you didn't. You said it often enough, apparently sincerely, but I've grown so cynical..."She stopped,. Ich sehe mit meinen 21 Jahren etwas jünger aus und habe mir schwarze Strapse angezogen ohne Slip, einen sehr kurzen Minirock und ein Bauchfreies Top und nur noch einen langen Mantel angezogen. Draußen vor der Tür standen auch schon ein paar Männer verschiedenen Alters und guckten schon leicht verdutzt zu mir. Ich ging direkt weiter zu Ihnen hin, mir war war schon ein wenig mulmig dabei und fragte erst mal nur mit Handzeichen nach einer Zigarette und Feuer, was sie mir dann auch gaben. Bevor ich.
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