Angela jumped at the chance to come with me. Once outside we talked again."Does Robert always beat you at video games?" No, just the racing games," I ...huckled, "I'm better at some games." Another of our famous pauses."What do you do for fun in Maryland?" Well, I read a lot. Lots of Fantasy. And I play video games, obviously," I make a gesture back towards the house. "And I do other nerdy things." I wave my hands dismissively. "What do you do in Alabama?" I read too. And I go on church retreats. Fall at last in the air, a new season... a perfect psychological moment."For God's sake, pay attention!" Ray snapped at her suddenly, and she jumped. Hadn't she been paying attention? "You don't want to stay here at all, do you?" he continued accusingly. "You don't like Tennessee--you want to move to a city--why don't you come right out and say so?" Oh, no," she said, seating herself in her husband's lap, "I do want to stay here, darling. All our plans... and there's our lot in Hickory Acres.... It was like I was in heaven. Then she came into bed we both were very near each other. We talked about general stuff I told her about my recent breakup she said “Don’t worry dear you’d find someone way better” and started caressing my arms. I told her about our college football match that occur today and that we won.She congratulated me for said you must be really tired. I was in fact really tired and was kind of dozing off then I felt her hand caressing my crotch. Unexpected I just kind of. "I love you, Nel, just the way you are." I didn't even know there's a word for who I am, for what I am," I say,"until recently." I smile, embarrassed. "I thought all this talk aboutgenders, plural, was nonsense, but I see it's not. Until I came tounderstand that gender is a social construct and that there are avariety of gender identities, I was lost. I didn't fit the 'male'definition, or not entirely, nor did I identify as completely 'female.'I also didn't regard myself as entirely.
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