Allin all, it became evident that her real life did not start until she wasable to take the plunge in 1948.She did explain that, while she'd hated the...parts belonging to a boythat she had been given, she had an even stronger feeling about the bitsthat were missing and would make her complete. As a result she could nothelp envying women from birth (cisgendered, as they're now called) whopossessed these attributes without having to go through the time,expense and pain of surgeries. She would have. Ankles too. I’d been stripped naked before being carried up the stairs and thrown on the bed. Stripped might be too polite a term. My clothes had been torn from me. My dress in shreds, my bra and panties ruined.“Fuck slaves don’t get to wear clothes,” my Miss had told me as what was left of my garments was tossed aside leaving me with only my pretty pink collar encircling my throat.Sometimes I was her slut or her whore. Or so many of the other humiliating names she called me. Today was. Her ass was so big and the thick hair that went up her crack felt so good twirling between my fingers. Her breasts were so big and felt great smashed up against my chest when she was riding me. I still can't believe this really happened. Now, I'm going to make this reality even better for me.A few minutes later..."Hey sweetie. All cleaned up?" Yeah mom. Just washed off real quick with a washcloth and got into my PJ's."There she is, standing in my doorway. Her hair is still damp from the bath. But now its lashing outat everybody that tries to get close - at you and Meiling and Mia. Sonow I need to set it aside. I need to let myself be open, trust that youaren't going to hurt me, that you aren't going to betray me or abandonme or cast me aside, even..." I turned my quivering eyes to Meiling,"even when you have every right to. This darkness... it's not somethingI want. But it's something I'm going to have to live with."God, who had hurt Madeline I wondered? Is that why she was so angry.
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